Family Jokes Set One

The panhandler approached Uncle Stanley. “Kin ya spare five bucks for a cuppa joe?” he said.

“Five dollars!” Stanley was taken aback. “Isn’t that a lot of money for coffee, my good man?”

“Well, i’11 tell ya,” said the bun. “It’s me wife’s birthday and 1 wanna knock off early.

“Who was that man I saw you kissing last night, daughter.’

“What time was it?”

There were three kids in the family … one of each sex.

Family Jokes Set Two

Two friends of long standing met at their club. “Johnathan, old chap,” said one, looking morosely into his drink. “As your best friend I hate to tell you this but your wife is fickle.”
“Ah,” sighed Johnathan. “So she’s thrown you over too.”

There’s no place like home … after the other places close.

Father’s learning a trade … so he’ll know what kind of work he’s out of.

It was one of those family fights that took place every Saturday night right after the card game, which took place right after services. This time the feudin’, fightin’ and fussin’ was more than he thought his mother ought to, hear. “Mom,” he said. “Leave the room.”

How to write a toast give a toast

Paying homage with a short speech and a tinkle of glasses.

Informal or formal toasting lends an air of festivity to any celebratory dinner and is a way of honoring people on special occasions. Informal toasting may occur at the beginning of the meal just after the wine has been poured. Everyone raises his or her glass at the same time, and says, “To us,” “Cheers,” or the like. Guests then touch glasses all around or with the people nearest them, and all take a first sip of wine together.