Yesterday, Bernie prepared us for Edgar’s return. This time Bernie Miklasz is back with what happened to Edgar Renteria when he returned to the Busch Stadium field. It wasn’t pretty.

Man, Bernie lays it on thick at the beginning of this column. I’m not sure whether he was under in his word count or what, but here it is:

The last time Edgar Renteria stepped to the plate at Busch Stadium, he tapped a hopper to the mound for the last out of the World Series. The Red Sox were world champions, a belated ascension that caused generations of dead poets to rise from graves throughout New England and compose updated sonnets to Red Sox baseball.

Egads. Maybe Bernie was playing it up for affect, but come on.

Befitting the best fans in baseball, Bernie reports what Edgar received in his first at bat:

The booing was quickly and emphatically overwhelmed by a more pleasant welcome in surround sound. Fans slowly began to stand and applaud.

Midwest charm and politeness.

Even the St. Louis Cardinals management got into the act:

In the near corner of the dugout, Cardinals manager Tony La Russa clapped for the former shortstop who anchored multiple division winners. And in the green seats next to the STL dugout, members of the Cardinals ownership group joined in and gave Renteria an ovation.

Bernie throws in a quote from the quote machine, Tony La Russa and then delivers one of his best paragraphs this year:

That was the highlight of the evening for Renteria in the Cardinals’ 7-1 thrashing of the visitors before a buzzing crowd of 50,270.

Tight, focused, meaningful.

He follows that up with:

The rest of Renteria’s game turned into a Stephen King horror novel:

I think the Stephen King reference is cliche, but I know Bernie is on a deadline. Maybe he could have thrown in a Clint Barmes reference to the effect of Reternia’s game turned into a Clint Barmes grocery run.

Bernie started off think and ends thick:

No clocks were turned back on a humid Monday night in St. Louis. The Red Sox still won the 2004 World Series, and Renteria still bolted from the Cardinals. Revenge wasn’t part of the script. But if you believe in these sort of things, perhaps it was a bad omen for Renteria last autumn, when he made the final out to give Boston the World Series.

A stretch.

Score: 6 out of 10.